2011

It's hard to believe that 2011 is the day after tomorrow. 2010 has been a blink of an eye to me, and it's over. I'm not saying that I am sad to see it go, or happy, just that it was a fast year. A good year. It's been a year of restoration, change, happiness, family, growth, energy, love.

At the beginning of 2010, I believe I was at one of my lowest points of my life. I felt trapped in my house. I was so lonely. Winter isn't exactly the brightest time of the year anyway, but even my soul was clouded over. I was drowning and could not seem to surface from my own self-pity and loneliness. I was (and still am) so blessed and lucky to be able to be a stay at home mom, but I was having a very difficult time trying to figure out what to do with Ivy on a day to day basis. Genesis was only 4 months old, I was breastfeeding (which was easy in the beginning but became much more difficult as Gen began to become more aware of her surroundings and would not focus on feeding = stressed out mama). Jake left the house at 7:20am and didn't get home until 6:45pm. I'd be ready to get out of the house for some adult interaction (or anything!) and he'd be ready to settle in for the evening. Every morning I woke up and would think to myself, "what in the world are we going to do today?? what am I going to do with Ivy? who is she going to play with? are we going to get out of the house?" I was pushing myself towards an anxiety attack. I had one wonderfully good friend (I'll love you forever, KC, for everything you were and are to me) who I did everything with... but I needed more. I needed family, fellowship, activity, involvement in life.

In February, I returned home from a MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers) meeting, where I filled the role of a small group leader and had several other friends. Albeit, distant friends. I unloaded Ivy and Gen out of the car and opened the door to the house. I dropped all of my stuff on the floor and looked around at the kitchen/living room/dining room area. Unwashed dishes lined the counter-tops, unfolded laundry scattered the floor, childrens toys were scattered aimlessly about. I turned to Ivy and said, "hey, Ives, do you want to go to Tremont right now to see grandma and grandpa Stuber?" to which she replied "YEAH!!!" I called Jake at work right away and asked him, and of course, he said yes, as always (Ivy and I had done several long spur-of the moment trips to Ohio before). He even said I didn't have to clean the house before I left! :) I called my in-laws and they were ecstatic to hear of our trip and said we could come for a whole week! Ivy and I hurriedly packed a couple of bags, packed the car, and we headed to IL. It ended up being the worst drive of my life, as Genesis screamed for a straight 3 hours in the dark, and there was nothing that would console her. However, this trip ended up changing our lives forever. Jake came up at the end of our week in IL and, together, we decided that we wanted to move back to family. I remember Jake gripping my shoulders and staring straight at me saying, "Dana, once we make this decision to move to Tremont, there is no going back. Do not change your mind." I haven't looked back since :)

The next 3-4 weeks were crazy. Jake applied for several jobs online right away after we returned to Branson. I started packing little things up here and there, not really believing we'd be moving in less than a year, but "hoping" that a miracle would happen. Well, our miracle happened. Two weeks after our return to Branson from IL, Jake received a job offer. Two weeks after that, we were moving. We found a very affordable, very large, perfect rental just about 2 blocks from Jake's parents house, and put our house on the market FBO. God was fully in control and orchestrated our move with such perfect timing we could never have imagined His total omnipresence in our lives. The rest of the year is history. He has looked after us as a wonderful Father.

Not to say there haven't been ups and downs (like our house... which still needs to be sold) still to this day, but our Faith has been changed this year. Jake and I are different people. We have grown. Our children are happy and have thrived being around such a large family such as my husbands. Ivy adores all of her cousins. She has a best buddy right across the street that she can play with almost every afternoon if she wants, she  has a best girl friend just a block and a half away that loves to play princess and ride their bikes together. Grandpa stops in all the time "just to say hi" to the girls. They love that! Great grandma often stops by to bring a snack, or also just to see how we're doing. We eat probably at least half of our meals at my inlaws. We love being together and have soaked up all the love that family has to offer... just being together... just liking each other's company and having someone to spend time with. Wow! You don't know how special all of that is until you've been starved to death for a long time. We are never alone unless we want to be. And sometimes, we do want to be, but that is rare. :)

All of this to say, we are very excited about 2011. Jake and I are determined to get involved much more at church. We each have our niches where we have become comfortable and can't wait to get started there. We do feel like we can be used to here to God's glory and it the prospect is so exciting! I can't wait to grow my friendships that I have begun this fall. Ivy will start pre-school in the fall. That will bring a huge change to our household. We are adding another precious new addition to our family at the beginning of July; sometimes I still have to pinch myself to see if it's really real or not. We hope to sell our house in Branson- we have it listed with an aggressive Realtor, so hopefully it won't take too long. I am looking forward to a 3 month membership at Village Courts... they have a pool and racquetball courts so the girls and I can go swimming every single day if we want to starting in January! I am sure there are more things about 2011 that we are looking forward to... I just can't think of them right now. All I know is that my heart and life are full and life is good. Thank you, Lord for bringing change into our lives.

Happy New Year!